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When Things Come to an End – They Stop

April 03, 2011   •   By Master Hobbit

Posted under: Relationships


When Things Come to an End – They Stop

My son departed for Nebraska yesterday, our 18 month co-habitation experiment having ended on not an entirely successful note.  We could have dragged out the decision another month or two, but that choice brought its own challenges.  In the end, I declared the new course and within a week all changed – for him and for me.


Aside from one or two frank conversations, there was little emotion expressed or going on about who did or didn’t do this or that, just the laying out of the action steps to exit.  Maybe that’s how guys deal with the varied feelings going on at any given time.  Just do tasks and skip digging into feelings at the moment, or ever.  After all, feelings won’t deliver tasks, and merely talking about them definitely won’t.


It seems we define success by some pre-set goals as to what was to be accomplished by the experiment in the first place.   Guess that’s reasonable, except when the reality on the ground changes.  While it became clear that our original goals were not being realized, and weren’t going to be at this time, the task then becomes one of deciding what we are doing and whether it is worth doing.


Our decision was that it wasn’t.  On to the next!


With the post-exit therapy tools now in hand, namely a grain shovel, rake, and shop vac, I clean out the remaining debris from his room.  I am rewarded with the discovery and arrest of two spoons, a fork, a bowl, and three drinking glasses that had previously been put on the KBI’s most wanted list of kitchenware.  Had to chuckle thinking about those interrogations, “Dad, I’m sure I don’t have any of that stuff!”  Yeah, and I STILL must look stupid after all these years.


I suspect that being father and son as roommates for these past 18 months may have changed us both, a little here, a little there, and hopefully in a positive way.  We saw each other in close proximity over an extended period of time and as single men and roommates, and not merely as father and son.


In my previous blog I concluded that just because something doesn’t go the way we think it best ought to, doesn’t mean the story is over or that the end was actually a failure.  It simply means we’ve started writing a new chapter.  Why?  Apparently, because we must.  Have written a few myself in my day.  And still am.


I think we’re both looking forward to what this next chapter will bring.  I’m hopeful.

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About the Author: Master Hobbit

Master Hobbit is the creator of 4060men. After a marriage of over 30 years ended in divorce, he journeyed for over 5 years as a single midlife man. He remarried in 2012. He is also the owner of the blog platform,, and a blog platform review site,

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