Getting Your Mojo Workin’

Posted under: Mind, Body, Spirit, Lifestyle, Relationships

Getting Your Mojo Workin’

The word, mojo, comes from the African word that means to cast a magic spell or charm, to possess magical powers.


For us then, mojo has to do with our personal magnetism or charm which we use to attract and seduce women. It’s our schtick, our moves, our repertoire, our routine, our unique tool kit, that we use to win a woman over.


Moving too fast for you? The question is do you have any? Not women, mojo! I mean, let’s face it, it may have been awhile since you even have thought about what your ‘gig’ is, which you use to win your way into the intimacy zone of a woman.  My assumption here is that by whatever road you got single, you’re single. And now you’re trying to move on from there.


I can say that this reminds me of the first times I got out there dancing in public after having not danced for some 25 years or more. They say once you learn to ride a bicycle you never forget. Well, that might be true for the mind, but the body needs some serious brushing up before it is back to whatever form it was in the ‘early days!’ I felt like the Straw Man from the Wizard of Oz in some strange uncoordinated way, mixed with a bit of the Tin Man’s rusty joints! Yes, awkward.


The point in all this, of course, is that with some forethought and practice, I learned to function pretty well out there on the dance floor – and improved in working my mojo on a woman. Let’s review a couple of things before you hit the field.

  1. It’s about confidence. Ok, it is at least about the appearance of confidence. Confidence comes with experience – a sort of Catch 22. Confidence is in part believing and part seeing. Believing in that you must believe you really have some good stuff to ‘sell’ out there. Seeing is when you get positive feedback from women as to what you’re selling. It is not arrogance or cockiness, but it is a self-assuredness that can move a woman. A woman senses when a man is confident. This is probably more important than any other thing we’ll talk about here. I can tell that this topic alone is another article or a blog.
  2. It’s about being in the game. Yeah, to a large degree it is a game. And in this game you can’t get better unless you’re in it. Seriously. Can’t steer a car that ain’t movin’! And you can’t get better mojo by sitting in the bleachers the whole time – or in your living room fondling the remote.
  3. There are no bad plays. Only lessons to be learned. Look, rejection is inevitable as we’re out there working the crowd. And making mistakes is part of the process. We cannot take it as personal in the sense that they’re rejecting us as men. If we do, we will begin to be overly self-conscious and lose confidence. So, it is an attitude, a mindset to maintain. It is a time to put on our ‘game faces’ – watch, listen, practice and learn.
  4. It’s a numbers game. The more gals you encounter, the better you become at encountering them. And, the more likely you’ll find that special one you might just want to keep. In the mean time, however, it is more of an on-to-the-next attitude and not moping around hoping that any single individual might still come to like you or some such.

The assumption underlying this discussion is that we are honest men trying to win our way into the heart of that special woman. And until we find that one, we are learning to be effective at understanding and accessing the hearts of women – for their good and ours. That is, that we would learn how to enjoy one another’s company and explore the potential of that relationship. What it is not about is abusing the heart of the woman.


The proverbial ‘player’ abuses women by manipulating them for strictly selfish reasons and then leaves them when he has gotten what he wants. There is no question he has mojo and he’s often very good at the game. I’m just assuming we’re playing a more straightforward game than that.

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